We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an
official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death
Flu". You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish
you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH", that

Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth, because (a) your
teeth hurt, and (b) you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing
process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a
couple of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways
out of your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste
stalagmites that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom
floor, which is how the police would find you.

You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
-- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"

This is the output from the BSD fortune program filtered through a simple Python script.

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